אנשים שטובים ומבינים אנגלית טוב יכולים להגיד לי אם בקטע הבא אין שגיאות?

It depends on what kind of work, but you can basically start working from 18 or 21 years of age after army. It's hard to find a good job here if you haven't finished an army and a lot of places don't hire people who haven't done an army. There's a lot of people who start working since they were 15-16, like waitressing in coffee/restaurants/
clothing stores/ handing out flyers/ babysitting/ cleaning in places like restaurants.